The Gay Post

With all of the frenzy surrounding North Carolina’s Amendment 1 and the president coming out (pardon the pun) in support of gay marriage, I thought it was the right time for my “gay post.”

I never questioned the sinfulness of homosexual behavior. That is what I was taught, that’s what I read and that’s what I “knew.” Having never struggled with those feelings myself, it was easy for me to judge those who did. After all, the Bible says it’s an abomination, right? And therefore Christians should support governmental legislation to discourage this sin, right?

Then a little over a year ago I was challenged by my best friend. Most Christians are familiar with Jennifer Knapp, a contemporary Christian musician who came out as a lesbian a few years ago. Lisa posted about her story on Facebook. She later called me in tears about the response she’d gotten. I have to admit, I judged Jennifer, too.  As usual, Christians shoot their wounded. But Lisa’s tears and stories about the horrid treatment of gay people by her church moved me. I questioned what I “knew” for the first time.

I have dear friends and family members who are homosexual. Them being gay never changed me loving them. But me loving them did not stop me from sitting in judgment of their activity, and I felt justified. It’s in Leviticus, after all. But so are lots of other things that we don’t blink at, such as sexual activity during a woman’s menstrual cycle, eating shellfish, pork and wearing clothes made of multiple materials. Even a woman not being a virgin when she marries is grounds for capital punishment per Leviticus.

Is homosexuality a sin? Leviticus was NOT going to be enough to convince me anymore. But then there’s the book of Romans. Yes, Romans definitely appears to condemn gays. But I started to ask myself why. I know why many things are sins. It’s obvious. Cheating, lying, stealing, murdering obviously hurt fellow human beings and the perpetrator as well. But WHY would a loving AND sexual relationship between two members of the same sex be sin when no one is hurt?

Do I just need to shut up and quit asking questions? Or are we misreading the Bible? Was it properly translated? Was the understanding of “homosexual” the same in the days those books were written as it is today? Does Romans even matter, since it technically is not “scripture” (aka Old Testament)as the early Christians understood scripture and even if it was, we are no longer subject to the law thanks to Jesus Christ.

I struggled. I struggle still. WHY is it a sin?

In my search for answers, I came upon the following video given by a gay Christian at a church coincidentally in Wichita, where I used to live. So far this is the best Biblical defense for homosexuality I have heard. I do find holes in his arguments, but his passion and his struggle convicts me. This young man wants to live for God…and still be true to himself. Do they have to be mutually exclusive?

It is long, but I strongly, strongly encourage you to watch his speech no matter which side of the fence you are on. Jesus loves this kid, and it’s easy to see why.

So, is homosexuality a sin or not?

I was born painfully shy. It served as a debilitating character trait for many years of my life. I have struggled to overcome it in order to live a normal and successful life. I was born this way. Could I act not shy? Yes! I can and I have. And doing so has helped me in various circumstances. However, I cannot live that way. It IS an act. I am most happy spending time with those that I know well, that I am comfortable around. Having to put on a charade of “extrovertedness” 24/7 would kill me.

Is being shy a sin? I’d say it could be. If I was too fearful to tell someone there’s a huge hole right in front of them and they fall in and get hurt, yes, I’d say that was a sin. I utterly failed to love that person enough to warn them. Is it a sin for me to want to stay home all weekend with my husband and not speak to another living soul? Probably not.

So perhaps…just perhaps…homosexuality is the same thing. I have no doubt people are born that way. It is not normal any more than my shyness is normal. But if you take this trait and use it to harm yourself or others, is it most definitely sin. If you use it in love (a committed relationship, or my quiet devotion to my spouse all weekend) what will God hold against you?

This is where I’m at. Only God can say for sure one way or the other. Jesus never addressed homosexuality that we know of. It seems that if it were that important he would have said something. But the gospels are silent. I would rather err on the side of love. I will embrace and accept gay people as they are. If God wants to change them he will. But that is not my job. My job is to love them. And they are so worth loving.

This is where I’m at on my journey. We are all on our own journeys. Maybe you are at a different place. I would love to hear where you are on this. My position may evolve, but my love for these wonderful people who happen to be gay or lesbian never well.

Fallen But Never Alone

No one can sing about failure quite like Sarah McLachlan. We all screw up. We all fail. We all fall from time to time. Sometimes we fail again and again at the same thing. While this may bring us shame, we need to remember that no matter how many times we fall down, God is not ashamed of us. He loves us. And he picks up back up, brushes us off and sends us on our way again.

In Jesus's parable of the lost sheep, the sheep was not crying for the shepherd. Maybe the sheep ran off on it's own and became lost. Maybe he was too ashamed to cry out and ask for help. Maybe he felt that the shepherd would be angry or judgemental of him and so he stayed silent, lost and alone. But the shepherd knew he was missing and went looking for him. He didn't stop until he found him. Jesus doesn't care how we've failed. All he wants is for us to be with him, and he won't stop until he has us. There is no failure too big for God to raise you up from. No sin too great, no hole too deep. God desires that none should perish, and I tend to think that God gets what he wants. Our failure is not bigger than God. We know that even in the darkness of our misery - even if it is self-made - we are never alone.

I'm With You Either Way

Having all the answers is not required.

I have never been so confused yet so at peace and free in my life.

I’ve been struggling with something and not knowing God’s will for me in this area. I just put it out to God and asked him to just show me if my thoughts were my thoughts or His. And He just said to me, “The choice is yours. I’m with you either way.”

Can you say FREEDOM?!

The peace and liberty those two sentences brought to my heart was bondage breaking extraordinaire. I heard God as clear as a bell, something that has only happened a few times, but when it does it always moves me to tears. How do I know it wasn’t just my own thought? Well, considering that I was the one putting myself in shackles, and the idea that this was really just my choice had never occurred to me, I’m putting my money on this being God all the way.

God doesn’t put us chains - He breaks them. He doesn’t dump guilt upon us – we do that to ourselves. He doesn’t hold us down – He gives us wings.

2012 and the End of Fear

If you haven’t heard of the predictions of the end of the world in December of this year, you might be in a coma. Everyone is talking about the end times, or at least a complete and utter socio-economic collapse. The History Channel has a new reality show about extreme “preppers” who are building compounds to help them survive the collapse. Between environmental upheaval, dire economic news and the end of the Mayan calendar, people are full of fear.

And my husband and I are planning to get pregnant this year. In the midst of warnings of chaos, we are trying to have a baby.

Are we deaf? Blind? Living in wishful thinking la-la land? Not at all.
We have made preparations in the event of an emergency lasting longer than a few weeks, as any family should. We are aware of what may likely occur in the coming months or years, as the world’s chickens come home to roost. And there is little we can do about it. We choose not to live in fear.

The thing is, 2012 or not, Mayan calendar or not, the people of the United States, and indeed much of the world, have been living in a way that demands justice. And I’m not talking about wrath of God. I’m talking about the natural order of things. You can only abuse something so much before it bites you. And we have abused our economic system, our relationships, our planet and ourselves. This imbalance will be corrected in one manner or another, and by most estimates, this will happen sooner rather than later.

Yet life will go on. In fact, it may be even better!

We must approach this correction – and the clear suffering it will bring – as a purging of the cancer of the world. When it is over, we will be stronger, smarter, more loving, more resourceful and less fearful! When you have struggled and suffered, emerging from the darkness is like being reborn. And with every uncertain turn around the bend, the fear means less and less because you know what you can survive through, and even thrive through.

And the best part of all – Jesus will be with us the whole time, offering comfort, peaceful hearts and wisdom in our time of need. Oh, how he will speak to us during these times!

So I encourage you to not be fearful of these coming events, whenever they end up materializing. Prepare your family for physical needs, but also emotional and spiritual. Understand that we live in a world of excess, but in actuality we require very little. Look forward to the growth of self and deepening of relationships. Throw fear to the side and embrace the security of God’s grace within you.

Let’s make 2012 the beginning of peace and the end of fear.

The Yoga Iron Man

I’m lucky enough to have a local gym with a great yoga program. One day on a whim I decided to check the schedule to see if it was possible for one to do every yoga class on the fitness schedule in one week.

It was.

And so the seed was planted. And last week I did it. Seven days, sixteen classes, about 17 hours of yoga in a week. Man, that’s like a part time job! I’m blessed to have a flexible work schedule so I was able to do morning and afternoon classes, but I still had to take two vacation days in pursuit of this yoga iron man. I just can’t do 3-4 hours of yoga in one day AND get all my work done!

What did I achieve, other than get a sense of accomplishment? The effects of my efforts weren’t really apparent to me until toward the very end. Day in and day out I ran to the gym two or three times a day, even for one class that met at 5:30 in the morning. I never felt like I didn’t want to go because I had already made up my mind that I was going to do this. Which leads me to what I learned…

1) I learned the impact of making a commitment to myself. I never considered not going to a class when it was time. There was no well, I really should this or that, or I’m tired. Nope. It was time to go and I went. No debate. I had made a commitment.

2) I learned how to talk to myself. When my legs were shaking and tired but it was time to do a balance pose again, I had one word in my mind. CAN. As soon as I thought I was going to lose it and fall out of a pose, I pushed all other thoughts from my mind other than CAN (and occasionally, STRONG.) Just that single word made all the difference. Sure, sometimes I still fell out of the pose, but often it was just the push I needed to hold it just a little longer.

3) I experienced the exhilaration of being on the cusp. My last class of the iron man was the most challenging yoga class, and arguably, the most challenging class on the group fitness schedule period. About a third of the way through the class I realized how close I was, and suddenly there was no holding me back. I powered through every sun salutation, I felt like I could lower myself down on a push-up for a count of 300 and hold every balance for an eternity. I felt strong, excited and POWERFUL. It was the best yoga class of my life.

4) Yoga is good for back strength! In my strength training class tonight my core felt stronger and keeping proper form was much easier – flowed naturally!

5) I learned how much I really do love it. Maybe someday I will teach. It was awesome just taking some time to do something uplifting just for me!

On a final note, I read this Yoga Journal article today and it reminded me of one of my classes. The teacher’s theme for the class was focusing not on what you can’t do, but what you CAN do. I thought this article on scaling back romantic expectations to something doable was a nice follow up to that sentiment.
Namaste!!

Persecuted for Jesus? Or for Doctrine?

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me." Matthew 5:11, emphasis mine.

Consider this news article about the Southern Baptists discussing a name change. I post this not because I have any concern about the Southern Baptists, their name or their conventions. It's the comments.

On the one hand, you have a multitude of mud-slinging against the Christians, Baptist or otherwise, and on the other you have (a few) turn-or-burn posters commenting on the fate of the immortal souls of the other posters (or even the Baptists themselves).

*sigh* *shake head* *cry*

The vitriol of the anti-Christians...is it Christ they are rejecting, or is it the condemning, hateful behavior of so many of his supposed followers? If someone rejects and insults you for love...so be it. But if they treat you harshly for condemnation, separation, judgement and hate...well, maybe it's your harsh doctrine they are persecuting.

How many people did Jesus tell that they were going to hell? How many did he condemn and scorn? How many sinners did he refer to by their sin? I have heard Christians refer to homosexuals as "sodomizers" and it breaks my heart. Is that what Jesus did?

No. He ate with sinners. Made friends with tax collectors. Praised the faith of outsiders. Defended the guilty. He encouraged, he taught, he blessed! Perhaps we should try emulating Jesus. There will still be those that hate, but there will be far fewer and their accusations will be false...not the truth.

Jesus Look-Alike

It's said that the apostle Thomas was a Jesus look-alike. That he resembled Jesus so much in fact that the reason Judas had to single out Jesus when he betrayed him (with a kiss) was to distinguish Jesus from Thomas. Now, the gospel accounts of Jesus' arrest do not say this, but it does make sense. Jesus was out and about for all to see, so why else would Judas have to have a signal as to which man it was to be arrested unless Jesus did in fact have a "twin"?

I like this speculation for a couple of reasons. First, it shows how much Jesus became one of us. He was truly a man; he could not be distinguished from other men. He looked just like everyone else. But second, how cool is it to be a Jesus look-alike?

Anyone who met Jesus never forgot him. He could change lives with a few words. His love was unsurpassed. He genuinely cared for those around him and never lost an opportunity to express his love, whether through a story or parable that would teach, or feeding people...or even washing their feet.

Am I a Jesus look-alike in my world today? Do I leave people better off than when I came to them? Do I feed people or clean people and ask for nothing in return? Do I offer a genuine smile to strangers and show kindness whenever possible? Do I forgive people? Do I honestly care for people? When people look at me, do they see the love of Christ?

The closer I draw to Jesus, the more his love comes out of me. I don't even have to try. It's not a concious effort to do good works. Imitating someone you admire is a natural action. Being a friend of Jesus makes love a way of life.